Here please post your personal reflection on the PCN Process so far. You can write about:
- Your experiences in whatever components you have participated–dance, acting, choir, publicity, set, band, etc.
- Your experiences of all-casts
- Your personal feedback on how the process has been so far, comments, questions, criticisms
- Reflections on the theme “awaken movement”
- Anything else by which you can tell us how you are feeling about PCN this year!
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This year I get to be part of two different PCN components- PCN modern and acting. It has been tons of fun so far, and I love the fun activities that we do as a group before the “hard work.” I have to say that I have been challenged because these are two things that I have VERY limited experience in, but I’m very excited for the upcoming practices and am up for any challenges.
That feeling that we are doing what we are doing for a larger reason- to educate, to empower, to speak up about issues that are important to us- gives me purpose as a participant to do the best that I can do to bring these messages across.
I’d like to see more people at our practices, because I still haven’t met everyone yet. I know we all have commitments, but things are much more fun when there are more people around participating and we’re all getting to know each other together, so I really hope I get to see everyone at the next practices.
I don’t know how I feel about PCN right now, I mean with everything going on in our community, I can’t really feel the festivities of our culture night. But I believe we will get through, and PCN is bout to kick some ass. Now that I contributed 2 cents, let me put in the rest of the 98. I am participating in Alvin and Eugene’s skit, choir, spanish traditional dance, and writing for the spoken word.
The skit is great…the character I play is hella me, which has really made me check myself and how I treat other people. I’m trying not to give hints about the skit or my character, but lets just say my personality starts with a B and ends with an itch. ha. So just to throw this out there, if i offend you in any way or will offend you through out this whole process. Then tell me, i aint apologizing but maybe I can treat you with boba?
Choir is fun. I’m the only bass. I think everyone just wants to be tenor because we all wanna sing higher. please divas.
The Spanish dance is difficult like FUCK. I don’t know why my fat ass actually signed up for it. o man. o well, it will be a learning process. I GOTTA give sum PROPS to the coordinators for having the patience to deal with my ridiculous ass moves. boom boom kats from making the band ain’t that fun when it is actually you doing them.
Writing for spoken word seems hella dope. word. But I honestly haven’t written anything. That is only because I’ve thinking so profoundly. haha. okay fine, I’ve just been procastinating…I’ll go write it now. aight Pilipinos, ingatz. MAKIBAKA. WAG MATAKOT
I feel mad spread thin like some I can’t believe it’s not butter but I’m looking forward to everything that’s gonna be going down this semester.
I can’t really describe how I’m feeling right now so I’ll just quote a piece miss June Jordan(RIP)
“baby
when you reach out for me
I forget everything
except
I do try to remember
to breathe”
Too many things going on this semester.
I know all of you other motivated passionate ass people know whats up.
despite this,
Im hyped for PCN!
Im in the horror skit and I have a real bad filipino accent and can’t be serious.
I’m supposed to be writing for PCN but much like Mr. de Leon, I haven’t started either!
But it’s something to work on.
I havent been able to make it through to a lot of meetings but the ones I am able to make it through are ill. I’m looking forward to meeting everyone!
peace!
as the mother in lost voices, the horror skit…
ang hirap…there’s so much work to be done to keep up what we have going for us. i barely see or talk to my family and room mate anymore because so much is needed. work, practice, school hindi palagi kong alam anong kailangang kong gawin. this weekend i felt so tired from all the events and practices and i know it’s just going to get harder.
we have to work hard, and sometimes it feels like it may not be worth it, or you don’t know why you’re working so hard but if you just think about what we’re working for in the end, then you know it’s all worth it. all the hardships, the sweat, the tiredness all leads to something better, a great show. that’s why we all go through this, because in the end we know it’s all worth it.
Hello everyone!
I’m part of TRAD!! I’m doing the Singkil, Spanish and Moro dances.
Honestly, most of the time I feel so non-Pilipino. My parents speak Tagolog, my mom’s native language is Illocano and my dad’s is Kampangpangan (haha, I don’t know how to spell it, or even pronounce it correctly). I’ve heard those 3 languages almost on a daily basis my whole life, BUT I don’t even understand it. I’ve never been to the Philippines or even know the provinces. The only Pilipino food that I know and eat is adobo, pancit, lumpia and puto, all the others I have to question the name and what it is. I don’t know Philippine history or the names of political leaders. I could have a laundry list of how non-Pilipino I am, but my point is: being part of PCN makes me feel somewhat Pilipino.
I think that by participating in PCN I am learning about Philippine history and part of the culture through dance. For example, during Trad workshop Joanna and Jelly did a short skit traveling through the different provinces where each dance originated from. I like how Singkil will have 3 parts to it showing the evolution of the dance. The first practice Joanna sat us all down and told us part of the believed story of Singkil and I was like oooh, ahhh! I actually did Singkil for my friend’s cotillion but I didn’t really understand the importance of it. The lady teaching us the dance would yell at us for smiling and joking around, and say that we were disgracing our families. She said it was a dance of royalty, but that’s all I really knew of it before PCN. Spanish dance was the one I was most familiar with just because the women Spanish dancer is more iconic. Also, I’ve been to Spain before and I had Spanish classes in elementary, middle, and high school, so I could identify it better. Though it’s hardest and most exhausting dance, my favorite is the Moro, warrior dance. It’s my favorite because it is hella fierce and empowering. YAY WOMEN EMPOWERMENT! And I think in the end, once I get all the steps down, I will feel accomplished.
Overall, my PCN experience so far has been really fun and I’m excited to for the actual show to demonstrate the hours of practice and preparation everyone has and will contribute.
In late February I attended a conference called JJP (Jesus, Justice, Poverty) through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. We spent the weekend in the Tenderloin of SF and had a chance to interact with the people in that community.
The experience reminded me of the issues dealing with the Pilipino community because something like poverty crosses all cultures. Darlene and I are heading a writers committee in charge of the final protest and even before choosing our four present issues, we talked about initial sentiments and common mentality when it comes to activism and being introduced to an issue. Throughout the conference as well as the brainstorming process, I realized that ideals of apathy, ignorance, privilege, etc. are all things that hinder us from even the first step of being involved with issues, which is being knowledgeable about them.
All of the people I met in the TL had a story, but I know I was quick to judge them for being where and who they were. It was and is easy to just ignore things like this, people like this, and situations like this, which is a strong point we (SAD) want to make in PCN. But by giving people avenues to approach these issues, we hope that they will take them to heart, especially because the issues we are writing about deal with the Pilipino community.
Your experiences in whatever components you have participated–dance, acting, choir, publicity, set, band, etc.
Your experiences of all-casts
Your personal feedback on how the process has been so far, comments, questions, criticisms
Reflections on the theme “awaken movement”
Anything else by which you can tell us how you are feeling about PCN this year!
This year I’m participating in a skit. In the previous years I’ve danced in Jazz, Lyrical and Modern. So, acting is definitely something different for me. The transition from dancing to acting is a big one. Being able to act is extremely different because you get to make your own interpretations of your character and build who they are by how you portray them. In comparison to dancing, many of its aspects must be uniform from performer to performer (considering the types of dance I’ve participated in).
The acting process has been an inclusive one. Kaegy and Ana wrote a wonderful script and they welcome of any suggestions the cast members may have. I think they’ve done a wonderful job picking who should fill what characters. And, quite honestly, it’s so FUN! We had rehearsals over the weekend and we spent a lot of time carefully crafting how we wanted things set-up, how certain characters should be portrayed in particular situations and additions to our story. This was all inclusive. Everyone had a voice. So, it isn’t as though the entire skit is being dictated, but there has been a collective effort to make it even more remarkable than it already is…which will inevitably allow each cast member to take ownership of their character. Then, afterwards, we had lunch together. It was nice to sit and chat about things outside of PCN and just get to know each other a little better.
From the past month alone being able to take part in a skit is very different from my previous experiences in PCN. I feel like the small group of people that I have to work with will allow me to find some connectedness with my relationship within the Filipino community.
Cheers!
First off, I am soooo freakin excited for PCN this year!
My roommates and I (Darlene & Aimie) have made it our mission to end this senior year with a bang, and we are determined to re-emerge ourselves into the pilipino community here at cal after our long departure of junior year. We started it off with our reading at the Maganda open mic as we read our ‘Ode to the Filipino Community’. I hope people appreciated the sentiment and didn’t misunderstand our rants and raves claiming to ‘hate’ the filipino community.
PCN is going wonderfully so far. Here’s a quick breakdown of my participation:
MORO – hell yea female warriors! I am supposed to be helping choreograph this piece, but so far i have only made up 4 counts. (sorry joanna and jelly!). nevertheless, this dance is going to kick major ass because filipino women are among the STRONGEST that i know, and its about time we reclaimed our warrior-ness!
TINIKLING – so excited…this dance is so fun and i get to smile and be happy and be partners with bud! woohoo!
LOST VOICES – this skit scares me. i think i will probably scare myself on the day of pcn. I still can’t believe I’m lola. My own lola tripped when i told her. lol
Overall, I will be completely honest and say that I am super excited, but feel extremely guilty because I am really spread thin. I overbooked my life, and I regret it. But what can you do? My first priority is directing Funkanometry SF, and things are freakin crazy this year with all the plans for our first show, so I am in the midst of preparing for 2 SHOWS!! eek! BUT, I am going to try my best and give everything i can to pcn…i owe the filipino community that much for all their support.
peace biznatches! AND HOLLER ATCHA 4TH YEARS!!!!!
-beanz
FINALLY, I feel bad! I’ve been e-mailing our cast to post a response, but I haven’t even posted anything yet! haha
PCN….. When I say PC you say what? PCN!
(wait that’s how it goes right?)
Amidst the sleepless nights because of papers and midterms and the dozens of chai lattes, writing and talking about PCN becomes an energizer. It has been a process of amazing stories… I remember starting off with bits of pieces at late night and Aba coming in to develop and cultivate those ideas into a giant scary skit!
THE START
I’m personally excited to see it come together. From the countless drafts (the noose story) to meeting with Rodney, Lou, Lenny, and the heads to stage the skit…. it’s a really weird feeling… I did not imagine actually co-writing a skit, moreso staging it… haha; but seriously though, Aba and I are really happy to see it come together. I remember writing our drafts at almost 9 in the morning and scaring ourselves by playing background music while reading the script. We used Aba’s keyboard and delegated lines to each other… haha
THE CAST
Awesome awesome awesome peeps! I’m lost for words to describe how awesome everyone is. Its a group effort for everyone to develop the skit, and its not just Ana or I who gives directions on what to do… Its a constant process of suggestions and dialog between everyone. From adding little details to suggesting ways on how to clear some ambiguity, the cast members’ openness to everyone helps in not only building our mini-scary skit family, but also in letting the skit grow creatively.
PRACTICES
It’s late at night… and it freaks me out to hear it being acted out… especially the scenes where the ghosts appear… Recently, we did blocking and it went good! Marianne, Anselmo, Elen… haha… After blocking we had lunch at Julie’s and just talked about random things!
AND BEYOND
I’m thankful.
Thankful for meeting and getting to know awesome people like Aimie (yeah I spelled it right?), Gina, Katrina, Francis, Ian, Rosauro, Casey, Jon Mike, and Joy.
Thankful for Ana for dealing with my childness and co-writing with me.
Thankful for getting to know the heads!
Thankful for getting involved in PCN!
Looking forward to that night when the curtain finally goes up on Zellerbach!
PCN, PCN, PCN!!! Where should I start? Well, first off, I always look forward to PCN. Although practices are time consuming and tiring, it’s all worth it at the end. I just love the thrill of performing and learning more about each component. There are a lot of different components that I was not a part of last year but this year, I am glad to say I’m trying different things. All the heads are great!!!!! Since I commute and stay at Berkeley practically the whole day, I might as well spend the time I’m procrastinating actually practicing, preparing and learning about PCN, and meeting new people.
I am also glad to say that I will not make the same mistake of not studying last year.. at least not as hard as I should have. I will make sure I study.. OOO and I am sure MJ will make sure of that too. =}
All cast today went good in my opinion. Although we weren’t able to get through the whole run through, at least we were all able to see the different components all together. I can not wait to see what else is in in store for PCN. YAY!!
Today was our first all-cast for PCN 2008, and the experience I had was not how I expected it to be. Not necessarily in a bad way. I just had some mixed feelings about it.
NOSTALGIA
I learned how to play guitar during last year’s PCN, and now I’ll be playing it for a few songs in PCN band this year. Whoa. Yeah. Weird. I also had to recall how to play Tinikling on the bandurria. It was just crazy, being in the midst of all these Pilipinos again, with ten trillion things going on at the same time and spectators passing by. It was a little strange and overwhelming for me to be in this position again.
CRITICISMS
It was difficult to hear announcements, just as it was last year. We should use a megaphone! I think the megaphone would be especially helpful to call out what act or performance is going on next. I think it was suggested last year as a way to improve this year’s PCN. Why is this not happening? :[
I’m not sure if these were made available yet, but it would be nice to have quiet study rooms.
It would also probably be helpful to have walkie talkies – one in the study room and one outside for better communication. Someone can announce which acts are coming up. That way, people wouldn’t need to keep checking if they’ll be up soon and they could continue studying.
AWESOMENESS
Hmm. Not sure if this counts as a feeling. Haha. Anyway. Even though I was a little overwhelmed by today, it was still really great to see everyone come out and do their thing. I got really excited after sampling the show. Especially the musical. It was super cute. Hopefully tomorrow will be filled with more “awesomeness.”
So today was my first PCN practice everrrrrrrr. It was an interesting and fun experience. What i thought was really cool was during the workshops, well particularly Jeffrey’s workshop, I thought it was awesome how he is doing a skit on the stereotypes of PCN and how he has characters incorporated into the skit that have never heard of PCN. I definitely can relate to that because back at home, my brother and I were the only 2 filipinos in our school. I didn’t figure out what PCN was until I went to last years PCN at Berkeley.
I can’t believe I’m actually in PCN. I’m in Modern..o0o..and since today, i’m in stunting and i think i wanna do jazz. It’s funny because my mom says I’m not very involved in the Filipino community at Berkeley, which is why I joined pilorgs this semester. It’s weirddd though. My high school was basically 95% white, the rest a mix of Mexicans, Asians, and African Americans, and my bro and me being the only Filipinos; and I have no Filipino friends back home. So lets just say I have never been surrounded by this many Filipinos ever in my life except for at today’s all-cast. haha. It’s a lot of fun though and a pretty good experience so far.
One thing I found true from what was said during the workshops was that i find everyone to be very cliquey from a new person perspective. I found that true when Jeffrey mentioned “PCN as cliquey” when he asked everyone what stereotypes are associated with PCN in his workshop. I find it very hard to talk to ppl in the pilorgs just b/c everyone has their established friends already and they just go them. I feel like ppl don’t really outreach/introduce themselves/talk to newbies they don’t know and I feel as a Filipino community, it is important to talk to others that they don’t know just so that they don’t feel like they are just there and not part of the group.
PCN experience is going pretty well i think so far. Hopefully I’ll meet more people in the coming practices and learn more about the Filipino community at Berkeley. whoooo PCN:-)
So today was my first PCN all-cast. I was glad that breakfast was there, I wasn’t expecting anything, but I didn’t eat breakfast so I was really thankful that Kapwa was so giving to make food. I kind of felt out of the loop while eating, like there were people I knew and I was with them for a little while, but then they would leave and I would just feel awkard; I kind of felt like I was out of the loop. It might be because I’m not as involved in the Pil Community as most people are, but hopefully being here will change that.
Anyways, once we broke into the different workshops, I met some new people and learned some new things. Making the time chart seemed like it was just to pass the time, but it was good to put things in perspective. Darlene and DC’s workshop was good to experience because it really did reflect how we all individually have our own thing, but we are able to come together and be like one.
After lunch, I went to my first practice for choir and it wasn’t that bad. It was pretty easy, I was happy that I knew some people that were there. Thankfully Lean was there to be a bass because I felt bad that DK was the only bass there. The songs are pretty interesting as I don’t really know that much tagalog, let alone sing in it. But I’m really glad that I get to sing in tagalog, because both my parents can and I feel that it can give us more to talk about.
Learning the Tinikling was kind of hard. At first I was learning one part and the next thing you know, I’m learning the other part because I was given the wrong part. But its okay, I just hope that I don’t let the others down. I missed the last practice and I’m going to miss the next weekend practice so I REALLY don’t want to let the rest of the group down. I’m trying as hard as I can to learn the steps. And I feel so bad for hurting Abby so often. I’m willing to practice on my own as much as possible to get this down because this is the only dance I’m doing, and knowing that a lot of people know the Tinikling as one of the more popular Pilipino dance.
Overall, the day was alright. It kind of seemed like a waste of a morning. I mean the workshops were helpful and it was supposed to help, but I think we could’ve gone without it. It might just be because I have a really busy week and I don’t have a lot of time to do everything. It seems like the 9a-3p practice can somewhat be a hassle especially for those with midterms. I know some people in chem1a have a midterm on monday and are stressing over being at the practice while still being able to study. It kind of seems like everyone suggests retention, but not that many people actually retain themselves. It can be hard especially when you’re doing other things. I wanted to study but I was practicing for choir and rural. I guess it just goes along with time management. But I’m ready to take on the challenge and to meet more people.
Back in high school, I was hardly part of what I guess you could call the Filipino community. Fitting into the stereotype, most of the Filipinos hung out solely with each other, forming this massive blob of brown on campus. And while that can be seen somehow as a good thing, it was the definition of EXCLUSIVE. There was the Barkada Club, which might have been established back in the day for good cause, but it only aided in perpetuating the cliquey-ness. The club’s sole purpose in life was to put on …. THE BARKADA SHOW, a mini version of our PCN. It was cool to see the Filipino community, family and friends, come together, but that seemed to be it. The show was entertaining … ?? I guess. But no messages were conveyed. No thought-provoking arguments were made. It was just another way for the Filipinos to be HELLA EXCLUSIVE and dance modern (not that I don’t love modern … because … I do
).
Anyway, because of my past horrible experience, I am SO HAPPY that PCN at Cal is NOTHING LIKE THAT. From what I had heard last semester about past PCNs, I knew that it was something that I’d definitely want to get involved with–to see the passion, to feel the energy, and to participate in the sense of community. PCN isn’t just a chance for Filipinos to show off their mad dancing skillz. It’s so much more. It’s a chance for those traditional, modern, and jazz dancers to start a movement and to awaken in the audience the motivation to create change. After today’s all cast, I was feeling exhausted yet … SUPER EXCITED. I’ve been part of the community for almost a year now and I’m still surprised at how AMAZINGLY TALENTED everyone is at EVERYTHING. From the producers to the stage managers, from the writers to the musicians, from the stage hands to the performers, I am inspired by each and every one of you. Thank you for letting me bask in your glory. <3
DAMN. WE ARE SO PCN-TERTAINING.
Hi Friends!
Wow, I’m totally into journaling, but I never, NEVER, let anyone read what I write. So yay for new experiences. Let’s see- today was the 2nd PCN all-cast. I love the things that I’m part of this year (Moro, Cordillera, Rural, the musical), but somehow I feel like I might have done too much. Last year was my first year in PCN and I did two traditional dances. I had lots of fun doing them, so this year (my graduating year!) I wanted to really get more involved. However, I don’t know that I’m doing the best that I can- I’m sure trying my best though.
Last year at all-casts, I would practice a lot between my components, but today, however, I just pretty much seemed to be on the wings. I felt bad because I couldn’t really practice with my group- choir, or Cordillera, or Rural. I always meant to practice with them, but I would have to leave to be “onstage” (sorry Jelly!).
I would try to run moves through my head, but I felt like I was just mixing up all my dances in my head. I’m a pretty inexperienced dancer so it always takes me awhile to really get all the moves down. At the same time, like all of you I’m sure, I was thinking about all the papers and tests I have for this week.
I know that in the end, everything will work out because it always does. I will just work out my stress when I scream as the Librarian in the musical skit, lol.
On a happier note— I’ve been meeting some really cool new people this PCN this semester and I’m really excited to be making new friends
Wow! I’m UBER Excited about PCN! This is my first year doing it, and I have a feeling that it won’t be my last! Today was the 2nd day of All-Cast and I had so much fun! I’m in the “Old School” skit and Swing Dancing! Yay! Both of which are really fun! I absolutely adore my cast and directors for the skit! We’re already comfortable enough to joke around with each other! I LOVE LOVE LOVE SWING! My face just lights up once the dancing starts and that light just doesn’t go away! I can’t wait for Swing’s Finished product because Randy and I want to make it “SEXY SEXY HOTNESS!” And yes, please quote me on that! So anyone who wants to be a part of some SEXY SEXY HOTNESS join SWING!
So far, my absolute favorite part of PCN is getting to meet new people and getting to know other people better! For instance today, I would randomly go up to people I haven’t met yet and say, “Hi I’m Laurice (big smile)!…It’s like Dolores but no DUH.” People are just so fascinating to me, hence my interest in sociology! I love getting to know people more and hearing about their life and their stories! PCN is just the perfect place to meet people you wouldn’t have met otherwise! There are some people I’ve met but I don’t know very well, and because of PCN we’re getting to know each other better! Our relationships are no longer the “Hi (insert name)/Bye (insert name)” with an awkward wave. Now we’re starting to have experiences together and shared history we can reflect upon and inside jokes we can laugh about!
It makes me a little sad to read/hear that some people feel left out or that PCN is “cliquey” but I’ll really try my best to bridge any gaps anyone may feel. If I haven’t introduced myself yet I promise I’ll make the effort, but remember it goes both ways…
To end on a happier note…I <3 PCN!
To be honest, I probably don’t care as much for the issues that PCN brings up as other people. I don’t know exactly why, but I guess Berkeley in general has made me callous to the whole organizational-level protest concept. That and the 20 units and 4 activities (incl. PCN) I have to juggle this semester. I personally may not be committed to the cause(s), but I am committed to making sure those who are make their point efficiently convincing even to those skeptical sociologists like me. Here are some rhetorical tips I conjured up in the past two days:
> Have a simple but effective solution. We have three hours to spread our messages to the audience, not seasons of time and the competitive copycatting that TV has the luxury to change a whole culture with. Thus we also cannot expect new leaders to rise from total ignorance in a 20 minute song and dance. Therefore the solutions we present have to be no more radical than researching an established, reputable organization and/or a small lifestyle change (of which the “buy me instead” concept has become timeless in advertising).
> Relate to the audience. Ever wonder why most American media images you see depict middle-class suburban Whites (or at least not Asians or Muslims)? Because that’s the image of an American that’s been drilled into our heads since we stopped watching Sesame Street. People are way more likely to follow the lead of someone who appears similar to us. Likewise, we have to be aware of who our audience is. Our audience is generally middle- to upper-class. The middle-upper-class distinction is important because most of our audience cannot imagine what it is like to live on dirty water and a pandesal every day. Even in a crowd of 1500, we’d be lucky to have a Berkeley bum or a former Stockton field worker in attendance. There is only so much impact possible in watching someone else suffer on TV or on stage, and the impact shrinks dramatically the “further” away the other is.
> Make the audience care. Americans are notoriously individualistic and thus care little if at all for groups that they do not or cannot identify with (i.e. impoverished non-Americans). Personal responsibility is highly effective, though direct shaming of Americans into submission is not going to happen. Instead, a roundabout way of making the audience care must be utilized. Nobody likes a boring or aggressive lecture, but funny and/or insightful messages tend to stick in our minds fairly strongly, even if we forget the details. I still remember the basic plots of all the skits in last year’s PCN — even though I haven’t seen the DVD since last May — because the final product was so humorous and thoughtful simultaneously. Nobody likes to be in debt either, because debt is a lack of power, and people care a lot about debt (especially nowadays). The reason I still remember PCN ’07 is because the show became worth that much more than the time and money I spent helping to prepare it. The same reasoning applies to the audience here: if we make the audience laugh and cry and think (and laugh then think) much more than they expect from a $12 show, they become indebted to remember the messages we convey that night. It’s a totally unconscious process but it happens, and it works. That is why I remember last year’s PCN so well. And that is why I hold last year’s PCN as the standard by which I want this year to meet and exceed.
But alas, I am not the one writing the skits (nor do I want to be, stemming from my lack of visually-creative skill and simple passion for justice). I apologize for having you read through this… practically a paper of social theory, but please recognize that my apparent apathy and single-minded focus on technicality and execution are all for placing myself into debt, by making PCN a significant profit.
I think it’s kind of funny how things just turn grand and great when you give it time. I mean you think about it, it’s pretty much true for everything. Relationships, papers, poetry yeah anyway…..So when I first joined PCN I had no idea what I was doing. I heard about the time commitment and the rumor of getting a “lower GPA.” Yeah I heard that quite a bit, but I heard good things too. People told me you get to meet a lot of people and get involved in a huge production. I also heard that the overall experience was worthwhile. Coming from a town where the population of Filipinos could probably fit in my dorm room triple, it was a change to be around so many people of the same culture. The idea of joining PCN was stuck in my mind, even before I auditioned. I still felt anxious and unsure about the whole thing. Even when I heard about the little synopsizes of all the different skits, I began to wonder where all this was going. When PCN all cast started I began to see the connection. I saw how everything from the dances to the skits all weaved in together. Each skit is a just a piece of the puzzle. Igsang baksak (right spelling…I don’t know). We are all one. Each skit, each, dance, each piece of music, each word spoken woven together to blanket our audience and even ourselves with rich culture and expression–this is what makes PCN so great. I’ve never seen or been in one myself, but I can already see how great of a show it will turn out to be, as long as we all continue to give it our pure effort. Bringing all the components together while simultaneously bringing all us folk in the Filipino community together is just grand. I really admire all the hard work that everybody is putting into this.
Yes this will be time consuming, and it may get even more so in the future. I feel I’m ready though. I’m pretty sure we will have our times during this process, with midterms, school, life an’ all. But I’m glad to say I can struggle together with the community. It’s more survivable that way and I find that perseverance becomes more diffusive.
Oh yeah, and take the time to meet somebody you don’t know.
That is all.
B.
So I am doing Trad (Rural, Moro, and Cordillera) as well as a spoken word monologue in the story arc. Yes, I know its ambitious for a first year to take on, but this whole idea of putting on a cultural performance is something that I hold close to my heart. Throughout high school, the Pilipino community in my own high school was relatively small in a white-dominated private school. So for the four years that I believed I developed and matured the most, I had no sense of the cultural camaraderie that I see among the Pilipino community here at Cal. For that reason, I am attempting to get back to my roots, my culture, my barkada, and just have fun with PCN.
The only reservation I have with this time process is the HUGE time commitment. Yes, I know PCN was going to take up a lot of my time, but I didn’t realize all of my other commitments would also step it up this semester. In addition to PCN, I’m trying to retain myself better this semester after a rather disappointing Fall semester, I’m a PAA intern, and am currently working on a campaign for ASUC Senate. I feel like my time is stretched and I don’t really get any down time to myself this semester, but I think I’m okay with that because I do know that in the ends, my labor will bear fruits. Beautiful, succulent, juicy, deliciously delectable, ripened, sweet and tangy fruits. These will be the fruits of my culture and my sense of community. Because even though there is labor in developing them, the final product is always so sweet.
-Matt
I really did not know what to expect the first day I went to All-Casts. I couldn’t imagine what we would do for 6 hours. Because I didn’t know what to expect, I came pretty much unprepared for the day, bringing nothing but Green Tea (in case I was thirsty) and my wallet. I really wished that someone would have informed me that we wouldn’t be practicing the whole entire time and that we would be allowed to utilize study rooms to study for midterms, read, etc. Time management is a definite issue for me this weekend because of the midterm I have in the upcoming week.
I like how we are able to see the other components of PCN and to learn the backgrounds behind each piece. The workshops were helpful because it allowed me to learn about other areas of PCN and it definitely sparked my interest in other areas that I wouldn’t have explored otherwise. It introduced me to other avenues I could possibly take on in future PCNs.
The run-through I feel is unnecessary for the first week of All-Cast. It could be smoother and postponed until each piece has close to a full routine.
What I enjoy most in PCN is the overall community. Everyone is so passionate about what they are doing. There are also so many chances to meet new people. I’m really looking forward to future PCN practices. :]
– bernadette
This past weekend has been an amazing experience. I have never been part of a production before. (Unless a skating show is considered one, but I always saw it as competition since my coach would always put the hard tricks in my routine…) Anyways, just seeing all the different components through the workshops has allowed me to get a feel of how theater works and also be informed of the purpose each of the components in PCN have. I found them to be extremely fun and very useful.
As run-throughs began, I took a step back and just looked at everything that was going on in the wings, the green room, on stage, and just everything around Dwinelle plaza. I see people practicing, people laughing, people studying, people watching and a bunch of other things. I just had a really comforting experience by sitting back and observing.
Going back to watch the performances, I began to have an uncontrollable feeling of excitement. The skits, the dances, and everything just seemed to flow together quite nicely. The visions behind each piece seem rather extraordinary as well. With the two all-casts that happened this past weekend, I had felt laughter, sympathy, and other mixed emotions. If I had felt this way through just a rough run-through, what more would the actual audience feel when things have been polished and the performers have adrenaline in their veins? I’m so excited for this year’s PCN! I can’t wait!
I wish I could do more in PCN. I would definitely jump at any opportunity that I had to do more. It’s just that this semester, I shouldn’t…
-Mark
PCN didn’t really hit me until yesterday when I came home and wanted to sleep, and I didn’t start my paper that was due today at 2 until 11 this morning. This process is really tiring and takes up so much time. Last week I haven’t been home before 11. Is it worth the efforts? It’s probably too early for me to tell.
But let me back up for a moment. This is my first time doing a production like PCN, which involves much more than a performance by a couple of Pilipinos. Sure, I performed in front of my church, but PCN is watched by much much more than a few hundred people. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about what April 20th will be like. But for right now, I should talk about how it’s been like so far.
I’m not very talented when it comes to different art forms like singing and dancing. I’m not a “triple threat” like most Pilipinos I know are. So I thought I’d sign up for these and see what I could do. Trying out for Trad was fun. I couldn’t believe the tryouts were on the same day, but the moves clicked in my head because they were fluid, despite the combination of dance moves from all the suites. A few days later, I opened an e-mail, and I was excited that I was put in Rural Suite…Oh and Spanish…and Cordillera…and Moro!? Oh shoot. That’s a lot!! I remember at the PCN kick-off I signed up for Choir and Swing too. Hmmm…I guess I’m getting really involved? Or is it make-up for the two years that I haven’t done it? Either way I’m getting pushed to be in every moment of PCN, practices and all. Not only that, I’m helping PAA/PCN Historian Christine out, so I have to be in every moment of PCN. So much work! Yet, I’m not quitting. Not when I’ve come this far. Maybe next blog, I’ll write about the specific components I’m in.
Coming into this, I knew only one person in the Pilipino community at UC Berkeley. By “knew”, I mean more than that person’s name and major and classes they were taking. That’s how uninvolved I was with everything Pilipino-related. Now I can actually put names to Pilipino faces…but it’s still a challenging process for a quiet guy like me. I feel like it’s hard to meet people so late in the game because friendships are already established between people, late because it’s second semester, late because I’m a 3rd year. But I’m trying, and seeing where these events take me. Hopefully, being involved with PAA and PCN will show a different side of UC Berkeley to me…one associated with the Pilipino label I carry with me.
first of all, im just gonna put it out there that i cant write even if my life depended on it, so please excuse all the sentences that dont make any sense.
so pcn. i’d have to say its pretty overwhelming. as a first year, i thought that i would be part of a few components just to get a feel for pcn but i never imagined that i would be head of jazz for my first pcn. i mean half the time im still learning about the pcn process while the other half, i have to be able to lead a whole component through that very same process. thats definitely a lot of pressure. and its even more pressure when youre alone and all the other heads have co-persons to work with, sad face. but im glad for alvin and melissa who have helped me! i just pray pray pray that i lead something in the right direction. so for now im just going with the flow and embracing every awkward situation.
but im excited that everything is finally coming together! its a rough start with some complaints here and there but hey who doesnt have those days? its a work in progress but it looks amazing.
much love to the commuters who have to wake up an extra hour early, go back home for a family party, live out of their car, waste time in traffic, and find places to crash. we rock.
and high fives to the people who mess up the pcn cheer at the end of allcasts. you guys make me laugh, which is exactly what I need at the end of a productive day.
after the first all-cast however rough and un-practiced and unfinished all the pieces are, i am incredibly excited to see this PCN as a final product. i think that last year, i didn’t really experience PCN as a whole because i was so stressed out and enthusiastic and concerned and obsessive compulsive about my first ever co-writing/directing position. so this year, i get to sit back a whole lot more and enjoy the show as it unfolds before me. and it’s turning out to be rather cool.
this year, i’m just dancing. except that “just dancing” makes it sound like it’s easy – but it’s not. i was so thrilled when i found out i got into modern. [really, bud and elisa if you read this zomg, thank you!] and then i realized that i am NOT a hip hop dancer at all. after all those years of ballet and jazz, doing modern [and swing and trad] puts me completely out of my element. i think that’s why i chose those three to be in. doing another pirouette isn’t challenging for me anymore, but modern? and swing? and moro-woman-warrior-rawr? i really have to step it up.
i have to say that the workshops at all-cast were not the most fun thing ever. granted, i was rather sick and not a happy person in the first place – some of the workshops were a little dull. there are only so many times a day [in a row] that we can do ice-breakers and intros. the best workshops were probably the ones that had us standing up, moving and actually *doing* stuff. sitting and being talked at repeatedly? eh, not so much.
<3
Right now, i’m in a study room during the second weekend of all-casts, and I am tired. 9am is really early to wake up, and it feels like the scary skit always goes first! Ahhh!!
Coming into PCN, I sort of auditioned on a whim. I knew that I had about a million other time commitments, what with Theatre Rice and classes, and I wanted to be in something that would not take much time. I ended up being cast as a 12-year-old girl who kills herself, and I didn’t know anyone else in the skit. Even though it’s only been a short time since we started practicing, and even though I feel like I’m always late or not there because of Theatre Rice or just oversleeping (sorry!), I feel like I’ve already gotten to know everyone so well. The rest of the cast and the directors, Ana and Kaegy, have been so welcoming!
It was especially awkward for me at the beginning because I haven’t really been involved with the Filipino community at all. I have to admit that I fell into the trap of expecting everyone to be “too Filipino”, but now I am really glad that I fell into this stuff… not just because of the fun of acting, but also because of the community. I’m starting to realize just how much I miss hearing Tagalog and eating longaniza (is that how you spell it?).
Yay PCN! =D
… I’m hungry.
MARCH 16TH – MONA THE SCRUB
(disclaimer: i effed up. posted in the wrong place… YES i’m embarassed, lets not point this out later? thanks)
Yeah, so as i was dreaming about Easter.. (bunnies, family, kids running around, and candy eggs), dreaming about holding an easter egg hunt for the kids but not hiding any eggs at all, because kids need to learn life’s not always fair, well…
i guess i slept on top of my cell phone, and my GO GO POWER RANGERS message tone went off and i think i woke up as trini, the yellow ranger. irrelevant, the vibration had woken me up at it was 8:40AM. i was like dayum mutha betch fack shet.
i pretty much washed my face and brushed my teef and got the heck out of the idub (IWA = Independent Womyn’s Apt = brown box)
so i rolled into all cast, 5 minutes late wearing my pajammers. which is WHY i was sooooo gross looking today, moreso than i usually am.
Today was fun. everyone’s skits/dances are coming together…
i LOVE the PCN puppies. denise’s pieces, and looking at the melted ass cheese left from the potluck. yum! this is my first blog, dont hate.
—————–
its palm sunday, go to church. BUT NOT JUST cuz its palm sunday, but cuz God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. [i dont know why i repeated myself] whatev, sall good. All God’s people say?? –AMEN. =]
what rhymes with AMEN? –THE END.
The first time I heard the acronym PCN was a few years ago at a family reunion. Two of my cousins showed us some clips from their PCNs. At that time I really didn’t think anything of it, just a show put on by a Pilipino club. Then I came to Berkeley. =)
Honestly, participating in PCN, at least this year, never crossed my mind at all, until I attended PAA’s 2nd General meeting. Right after that there was that PCN informational meeting? After watching the clip of one of the trad dances, I knew that I wanted be in this AWESOME production. But yet again, I still just thought it was a show with a bunch of dances and skits to showcase our culture. Then all-cast happened. =)
First of all, the breakfast was BOMB! Thank you Kapwa. Once everything started happening, the ice breakers, the workshops, and the run throughs I started to understand what the show really was about. I already started to understand this community building that everyone kept mentioning. Everyone helped one another with practices, watched each others stuff and just interacted with one other throughout the day. People were willing to help no matter how busy they were. This show really could not happen if we all didn’t do our part and cooperate with one another.
One of the biggest things I have l also earned to love about the show was how we have a meaning behind everything we are doing. It’s not just a Pilipino club putting on a show, it’s a group of people trying to inform others of important issues going on in the world today and showcase our culture! We are trying to awaken a movement. Watching all the components together, I truly believe that people will come out of the show A LOT more informed about things going on in the community and the world.
Yes, it’s very time consuming, but every time I go to practice or all-cast my mood always gets a little brighter. I am so excited for all my family and friends to see the show and to just continue to put all this together and have with all these lovely people!!
i <3 PCN
hi everyone!
this is my 4th year doing PCN and i absolutely LOVE it! this year i’m doing jazz, swing, tinikling, moro, and some acting. i feel tired and restless all the time since i also work too, but i know it’s definitely worth it! so far, this is my fave PCN!
the process is more efficient. i love sat practices bc we actually get to practice, the food that the heads brought today at all casts, the organization, the BAND and so much more. the music from BAND today made me so happy. it’s one of my favorite components of PCN. finance is doing a great job having everyone pay up front with tix, shirts, dvds, etc. there are some drawbacks to having PCN start later in the semester, but at the same time, i really enjoyed it bc i felt that PCN didn’t overpower my entire semester and i was able to straighten out somethings in the beginning.
& oh, i really like all the heads this year!! they’re so patient and i don’t feel intimidated by them. especially because i mess up a LOT & i’m NOT that great of a dancer! i know i can go up to them and have them re-teach me. i really, really like thier approachability.
YAY i love PCN!!!!
i dont know why but… pcn is freaking awesome. although this is the third pcn ive been in at berkeley, something about this year makes me get all warm and fuzzy inside. ive been asking fellow seniors of why this year is so bomb ass and cant seem to put my finger on whats causing me to have mini orgasms everytime im at all-cast or at my individual practices.
is it because im a senior and i know this is my last semester and last pcn that im appreciating pcn so much more? or is it band being at all cast cuz Lord knows music is beautiful and can totally brighten up the mood and make time past? or could be that for the first time in my college life i have a form of leadership position being acting head and directing the spoken word piece that makes me love pcn more because im more invested than previous years? or is it because it took me four years to finally appreciate the beauty of pcn… rather than concentrating on moments of unorganization, i can only see the beauty of how pcn brings more than 100 busy over-achievers to come together and just bask in the sweet aura of the pilipino community at cal.
well whatever the reason is… i can honestly say i am freaking loving pcn. i have never felt so complete. maybe because i spent my last four years lying to myself that i was an outcaster, when in reality no dichotomy exists between those that are involved within the pil-orgs and those who are not. since last years pcn ive been thinking of how to make this year’s pcn even better. its still surreal that i got chosen to head up acting and how im directing a skit. as corny as it sounds… this years pcn process and the memories made so far have seriously been… a dream come true… and im pretty confident that it’ll only get better…
PCN has been an amazing experience so far.
REWIND: I knew since watching the show last year as a freshman, I wanted to be involved during my second year in any way possible. Even looking back to when my Godbrother did PCN at UC Davis. After a bout of cold feet, I went ahead and auditioned. The monologue selection process took about a day and half and as for a song – I didn’t really know if I wanted to sing. I was interested in maybe only just a dance and a skit – but just in case, I ran through “A Whole New World” a few times (corny -yes- but when it doubt Disney out).
FAST FORWARD: to the orientation (after the PCN: THE MUSICAL cast e-mail was sent out =D), I couldn’t believe the energy the Filipino community had at Cal! I spent most of my first year of college with Men’s Chorale, locked up in the Wurster dungeon that is Architecture Studio, or taking three hour naps in-between deadlines. I was a bit overwhelmed at first by all of the new people, but everybody was so friendly and greeted each other with a smile and a hug! I couldn’t get over the buzz and the feeling of everyone’s positive vibes and the excitement of what was to come. By the end of the meeting I met the other cast members of the skit and wondered if I should check out TRAD or SWING or even BAND.
PAUSE: Now, after two weekends of ALL-CASTS and the suspension of time before Spring Break, I can stop and absorb all that’s going on. I can’t believe how much juice PCN has pumped me with this semester! From Rondalla to The Musical to the Jota! In the great scheme of things, after this semester us second years are done with half of our “career” at Cal. I know that the CalSO counselours and upperclassmen warn of college moving so fast and constantly egg you to get involved at Cal, but now I see their point. You really only have 4 or 5 years here to be a “college student,” and with semesters flying by like they are it’s important that you have more than academics to look back upon. What PCN is allowing me to do is to feel more of a part of Cal and my community. I’ve met so many wonderful people who are now more than just a face in the crowd when I walk through campus – and there’s so many more ALL-CASTS to go!
<3,
O.J.
im in the senate right now and i am amazed how so many people just dropped what they were doing to come and support the PCN bill. it really shows how much this show means to the community. and what amazes me even more is the fact that there are so many passionate people in this room that support us, filipino or not.
so, it’s 12:30 am and i just got home from the senate meeting. usually, i would be super exhausted and i would be driving home almost falling asleep on my steering wheel, but tonight was a different story. i think today, i think i have come to the realization of many things…
i joined pcn, not really sure what to expect. in all honesty, i never felt like i had found my “niche” at berkeley, even in the pilipino community. i don’t know whether it’s because i’m a commuter, or because i don’t talk much, or because i exclude myself, or because i feel excluded. whatever the reason, i never felt like i actually, well, belonged here. anyway, so i joined pcn not only to fulfill my passion for singing/music and dance, but in an effort to reach out and make the friends i’ve been searching for for the past few months here at berkeley.
and i guess you could say it’s working. i know a lot more faces now, and will hopefully learn everyone’s names one day. hopefully by the time pcn rolls around, i’ll be able to approach anyone in the show and have a chat. more importantly, i hope i’ll be able to say “oh, [insert name here]? yeah, i know {him/her]. [he/she's] my friend!” but i guess you could say that’s still a work in progress.
so back to the senate meeting. i would say i feel speechless, but speechless in the sense that i have so much to say, it’s so hard to say it. first, i was so frustrated at that meeting. never have i felt that much frustration and anger in one room. being in ASB in high school, i kind of said whatever i felt. knowing now what it feels like to be silenced from speaking your heart and your feelings, i hope i may never be silenced or silence someone from their feelings/thoughts again.
and yet, i’m completely amazed. i thought that i was alone in the pilipino community. but tonight i realized that while i stood there, feeling silenced and angry and frustrated, there was everyone else by my side feeling the exact same thing. never have i ever felt so strongly attached with the pilipino community. never have i felt so much strength and solidarity and passion. we were all there fighting for the same thing. and through that i realized that i’m not alone and that my story isn’t only my own story. it’s one that i share with so many other people. we share a culture that is so beautiful and so rich. i just wanted to thank all of you who helped me realize tonight that i do belong here. and most importantly, that i’m beautiful not, no, NEVER alone. and that, is saying something.
I just wanted to say that seeing everyone yesterday @ the senate chambers made me so proud of being in PCN, and being apart of the pilipino community! isang-bagsak!
So i’m on SPRING BREAK in San Diego right now…
BUT! i’m still thinking about PCN. I wish we could practice because we need it!! the show is soooo close! waaah!
So unlike quite a few people participating in PCN, i come from a place where there are a million Filipino’s. I grew up in a place where i was a majority, and not a minority. I’ve never felt like a minority, even until now. & to be honest, i need to break away from by comfort bubble. I’m learning a lot, i’m seeing different perspectives, and learning about a lot a lot of issues. But i need to get away and feel like a minority for once (if that makes sense?). i want to experience diversity and interact with it. i needa open my bubble. but that doesn’t mean turn my back on the community.
.. so why do i do PCN.
simply because I LOVE TO DANCE. dancing is my passion. and i love to inspire [through dance]. If i can inspire someone through dance, then i’ve done my job =] . I come from a professional career in dance (ooh that sounds big, but it’s not), where you won’t be placed in a dance if you’re not good enough; where choreographers tell you what to do, and how to do it, and what to look like. I’ve been yelled at, and had slippers thrown at me (haha), i’ve been criticized and told to watch my weight. .. and i juxtapose this to PCN – where you don’t have to be the best of the best to be in something, you just need to put in the effort. <33
The process of PCN is absolutely beautiful and moving.
my mind is jumbled up right now.
Wow!
I’ve been a part of the PCN experience for going on 5 years now, and this year is truly special for me. I remember back in high school how I always got the most joy out of the things I really put my heart and soul into without any notion of boundaries or limits. When i really just went out there and gave it all and left it all, came home exhausted, beat up, and hungry from a full day of giving all I’ve got, that’s when I really felt like myself. This year’s PCN, “Awaken Movement”, has brought me back to that feeling of fulfillment. This year being my last year and having only two classes on my plate, has allowed me to really give myself fully to my passion – art. Whether it be music, dance, or acting, it’s all art, I LOVE every single bit of it and for once I’m able to do as much as i can.
In past years of PCN I’ve been only closely tied to the music of PCN. I’ve always felt that, although music is a really BIG part of my life, I’ve only been sharing one aspect of myself to the community. Wanting to act, or to dance but feeling too mediocre in both areas always stopped me from auditioning in those components. But not this year for PCN! And it all started for me last semester. Being off from school, I went to acting classes at Contra Costa, and Funks beginner classes over in SF. I started writing music and brainstorming Ideas for songs that could be done. I came back to school, back to the PCN/Pilipino community, ready (in my mind) to put myself out there. And I was welcomed with open arms. To Lou “king” Limon, thanks soo soo much for letting me co with you. To Bulisa, for really giving me a shot, and looking for commitment as much as talent. To Darlene and Sam, for putting me out of my comfort zone and allowing me to grow as an actor and as a person. To Lisa, Adrien, and April for creating an environment where truly anyone can strive to be more. To Ana and Kaegy, for putting up with my crazy and over the top ideas about music for their script and then causing me to step back, focus on quality over quantity, and help me grow more as a composer. To everyone I thanked, I promise to keep giving myself to the best of my abilities, and maintain/grow in my level of commitment to this production and to you and your components.
I’ve always believed that my environment is a mirror of whatever is going on inside me, and boy do I feel this belief is true more than ever. Pilipinos this year are stepping it up and i LOVE it! From all-casts to the senate meeting, there’s a certain electricity going on around and infecting everyone coming in contact with PCN. I have no doubt, that as long as i’m giving my all, that all this passion will not waiver because of spring break.
Please remember, fellow PCNers, to not let go of this drive. It’s gonna get tough, but remember it’s always darkest right before sunrise.
Isang Mahal
Isang Bagsak
-Rodney
PCN!!! I LOVE PCN! I wish more people knew how much PCN means to me and to everyone who is, has, and will participate in PCN.
We should have a rally…YES! A RALLY! A RALLY FOR PCN!!!
The passion. The vigor. The picket signs! People will begin to SEE what PCN is ALL ABOUT!
Let me tell you one thing…
I love my skit Old School. LOVE IT! My directors and castmates…we all get along so well…sometimes too well (you guys know what I’m sayin’
) Our practices are full of ENERGY, and SHOUTING! Ahhhhh……that’s what life is ALL about!…
I have to admit, one of my favorite parts about our practices is the closing question. We all huddle up like a MOB, and share our innermost thoughts, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is HEARD. That’s what’s most important…NO ONE is silenced. We’re such a silly/kinky bunch. Ahhh……but I love it! LOVE IT! And I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU MAKE ME WANNA SCREEEEEEEAAM!!!! TWIST AND SHOUT!!! YEAAAHHHH GOOOOOO PCN!!! ISANG BAGSAK BABY!!!
The One and Only,
Felicity
FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN!
dear you,
pcn is poopy. joke lang! pcn has definitely been interesting this time around. last year i just kinda jumped in and did stuff, without care to plan or anything. i think the most logistics i worked out was doing publicity stuff, but that’s focusing too much on the past.
this year doing pcn as a co-writer/director has definitely been interesting.
PCN IS NOT JUST A SHOW. IT’S NOT A TOKEN CULTURAL PERFORMANCE.
pcn is vibrant, living community. truth that clings like lingerie in the deep south–it clings.
being a part of this “thing” from the beginning and in a few weeks the “end” (though it never ends) has been a rollercoaster ride, forgive the cliche. i’ve learned what i’ve loved and hated about pcn, what drive and interest and my god i’m never not amazed by all that we do in pcn. i like to say i’m filipino, not pilipino or pilipino-american because i’m filipino. i was raised by a filipino family and i guess in that sense i’m just a little different in terms of my values and upbringing, so i didn’t quite know what to make sense of this phenomenon called pcn. in a way, i find myself comparing and thinking whether this is all legit, what grounds we have to perform through this experience, etc.
but pcn is incomparable. it is an entity unto itself, a lumbering sigh from the mother land like an orphan gasping for first air in amidst the breast of a thousand patriots. pcn at once is and also does not belong, because it’s like a christmas gift. momentary and yet perpetual, the outside is usually just a striking as the inside. and by the wrapping, i mean the color of our skin, the “show” we put on, the sweat off the forehead wrinkled like caribao skin. and by the inside, i mean the love we gush from beneath our fingernails, the endless chorus of expression that burst from our eyesockets, the pummel of our spirit against the flesh confines of our bodies as this filipino/pilipino convulses in frequency similar simply to that of scintillating stars.
pcn is awesome. its work and responsibility, learning and teaching, family and future.
i highly encourage folks to become heads in the future, it’s definitely a different experience and vantage point.
excited and awed,
alvin
Pilipino Cultural Night 20008
- Awaken Movement -
I am so happy that I am here right now. I have been around the PCN culture since the 7th grade, so I have a good idea of what I like, and what I want to see. And right now, I LOVE what I see in Awaken Movement.
As a co-WRITER/co-DIRECTOR of “Old School”, I can attest to the amount of work that goes into this production. Starting from Fall semester, the PCN process was up and running, and no one from the design team knew where PCN was running to. Alvin and I faced many revisions and countless late nights worrying about the smallest detail in dialogue. Now everything looks all good.
All-Cast has been so great. Having everyone there, meeting/greeting just shows how PCN is a good indicator of community. I’m feelin it too – all the love. With PCN Band there just makes weekends more festive, and I’m glad they were there since the beginning. And folks seem to be having fun.
This is my second PCN, and I feel like I have a better idea of what it takes to put on PCN. I would not trade this year’s experience in PCN to do anything else. I hope everyone feels just as good as I do.
And Lean thanks for reminding me that…
“It’s not the product, it’s the process.”
WRITING AS LIBERTY…
“11:02PM on April 3, 2008
So, I was walking through campus a few weekends ago to get to my meetings about our upcoming service projects. I heard a lot of commotion near Dwinelle. I thought it might have been about the tree-sitter, but to my surprise, it was a bunch of students. They were practicing for Pilipino Cultural Night. A lot of people were stopping to watch. I didn’t have any time to kill before my meetings so I just kept walking. As I walked away, their band started playing music and it seemed like even more people around me stopped to listen.
I wonder what my mom would have done if she saw me that day. I guess she’d get me to stop and try to ask the students about what they were doing. She’d even try to convince me to be a part of it. *Sigh* I don’t really know. It’d be so weird to just go up to them and try to get in on their show, especially if I were forced into it by my mom. Maybe she’s disappointed that I’m not Filipino enough for her…just because I’m not super interested in going to all these Filipino events that she hears about. At least I’m doing some good for the community! Maybe she doesn’t see that I’m still making a difference through what I’m doing. It’s so hard to get her to understand. We’re so distant sometimes…Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t want to see what else I’m doing, just because I’m not doing what she wants me to do.
Ugh, it’s so frustrating being so many things…a daughter, student, friend, leader, follower, etc. @_@. At least I get some satisfaction and fulfillment when I see Estella every weekend, and all the kids at the after-school center!! Aww…kidssss….=). Okay, I guess that made me feel better…haha. Bye blog world.
Hearts,
Libby”
Writing as myself…
So, I decided to write the above to get back into character. Hopefully the “other” perspective didn’t really offend anyone…I didn’t mean it to. I was just imagining what she’d be like…
Anyway, I was in PCN last year, and decided to return for a second year. And…WOW. I can’t believe I got into a skit…just to be honest. Thank you, Louel, for giving me the opportunity to make your script come to life (as well as give a little input here and there). It’s really an honor to be Liberty, no joke. You don’t know how shocked/excited I was to get that phone call. =P. And yay! to Jelly and Joanna for all the Trad amazingness! =D It’s exciting to see how this component has evolved…=]!
Hrm, so…reflections on PCN? Um, well, it’s really been kinda different this year. I feel like the show is coming soooo much faster than last year! Maybe it is? Maybe it isn’t?? I don’t know…but I feel like I have a lot more to work on before the show…I guess just being super comfortable with myself on stage and all the movements that I’ll be doing is going to be my main focus. Hehe. Maybe it’s just overwhelming right now since I haven’t seen hella PCN-ness (mainly all-cast, I guess….haha) for a couple weeks. =P. it’ll probably be okay after this weekend. WHOO. Pictures on Saturday…! Libby’s gonna have a new look! OH!…and yea, Saturday individual practices seem to be pretty efficient. The main problem really is that there aren’t enough hours in the day so that components wouldn’t have to overlap. =P. Between a couple of my Saturday practices, I just kinda observed for a little bit. It was really interesting to see everyone in their own element. (I think I had a suggestion about Saturday practices, but…I kinda forgot…=X). But yea, I’m excited to see how everything will really come together! =)
I absolutely LOVE performing, whether it’s singing, playing piano, acting, or (an EXTREMELY limited amount of) dancing, which is precisely why I joined PCN last year. My only regret was being involved in only one component (Choir), and even though it got me so hooked that I’ve vowed to participate in PCN for the next three productions, I had this hunger to delve myself even deeper into the process. This is why I decided to join acting as well as choir this year.
I was first cast into the lead chorus of PCN: The Musical, and as luck would have it, I also landed the role of Estella in Liberty.
Being in the lead chorus of the musical is sooooooooooooooooooo incredibly fun!!! We get to act out funny little background stories, partake in simple choreography (which is probably good for me because I don’t think complicated moves and I mesh very well together), and let our imaginations run wild in creating our own characters. And I am so impressed by those who composed the musical’s 100% ORIGINAL songs. “Find My Place in PCN” is wonderfully light, fun, and cheerful, and just brings a smile to my face whenever I hear it. “Can’t Do This Alone” and the final song (what’s the title, again?) are deeply moving. You can hear and feel the emotions right from the first chords.
As for Liberty, I play Estella, who is this old lady that Liberty (the main character) takes care of on the weekends. Estella is pretty sassy, cutely stubborn, strong-willed, and also very wise, sweet, and sincere. I am drawing a lot of inspiration from, and performing this role in loving memory of, my Grandma. Whenever I play Estella, I almost feel like I’m playing Maria Sanchez Fauni, because they have such similar personalities. I’ve also incorporated little details and habits in further tribute: I wear glasses, put my hair in a bun, and wear one of her dusters for my costume, and play solitaire (one of Grandma’s favorite pastimes) as I dialogue with Liberty. I really hope I can play my part convincingly…
In choir, I get to partake in one of my life’s greatest passions: singing! Yay! Learning PCN’s chilling rendition of “Bayan Ko” was pretty intense. I’ve become a lot more conscious of how certain notes and sounds can so powerfully invoke different moods. I feel as if I’ve fallen even more in love with music. =)
Working with my fellow cast and choir members has been such a fun and enriching experience. I’ve been able to make new friends, and catch up with old ones. PCN has challenged me to push myself past limits that I hadn’t acknowledged before, and has provided a space in which I can explore different possibilities, work with a team, grow as an individual, and, to quote the musical, “find out who I really am.”
Thank you, everybody, for being a part of this amazing process! =D
Seeing how it’s my last year here at Cal I decided I might as well go all out with this PCN. I am currently in Modern, Lost Voices, Moro, and Cheer. Aight I’ll just break down my thoughts on each one to make things easier.
MODERN: I love to dance so it’s always fun for me to be involved in a component that involves dance. The choreographers have created some dope pieces that seem to really tie in with themes being presented. I can’t wait till we get all the transitions done and put in all the pieces to see the completed piece.
LOST VOICES: This skit is so dope. The cast is dope. The concept is dope. Everything about it has been … DOPE… especially since it’s a new genre that’s being introduced in the mix. I play the main ghost and the killer. I do a lot of yelling. I actually think I’m losing my voice because of the part, but it’s a lot of fun. What I really liked about the practices was how we were all able to put in our input to really flesh out the characters and create the atmosphere.
MORO: This has probably been the most physically demanding component I’m in. It’s expected though since we are supposed to be warriors and all. Even though I feel like passing out after every run-through I still have a lot of fun doing it.
CHEER: I joined this component on a whim and just wanted to try something new, but so far it has been a lot of fun. I have a lot of respect for cheerleaders now. Cheerleading is a physically taxing sport that requires a lot of practice, precision, and skremph (that’s right skremph > strength).
Overall, I am really digging the vibe from this year’s PCN. The process has been a lot of fun and there really is some sort of energy in the air during all casts that has been inspiring and has created a sort of family atmosphere.
So this is my FIRST and LAST PCN… I’m really sad that I didn’t participate in the previous years. I always thought that I couldn’t keep up with my school work as a Chem Eng major and PCN. Coming to my almost last semester at Berkeley…haha I’ll still be here in the fall – just 3 more classes! yay!…back to my point, this really my last opportunity to experience PCN and more so get to know the Pilipino community. My eyes really have been opened during this experience. Last all-cast, we practiced the Story Arch Finale and seriously, it was so powerful and moving to see all us united in one strong voice.
Anyway, I’m really glad that I joined PCN this year and I’m excited to be in PCN the musical. We have some corny lines and moves but when it all comes together I love it. I really have to give props to everyone that is involved in this skit. I’ve enjoyed every moment interacting with you all.
Overall, with PCN and the Pilipino community, I feel really welcomed. I must admit that I was worried and apprehensive about joining. Since I’ve been so distant with Pilorgs, I thought that I would feel very much out-of-the-loop. I don’t know many people and people really don’t know me. I feel like the long-lost senior who has disappeared over the past years. I tried to go to some events as a freshmen and I even went to Friendship games my first 2 years here. But school got harder and yeah I had to keep up with the work. Anyway, when practices started, I let my guard down and tried to open myself to meeting new people and learning more about Pilipino culture and community. This experience is definitely one to remember and I’m happy that I didn’t pass up this last chance to be a part of PCN. So, yes I’m excited and ready to put on an amazing show! =)
I must say I am Hella excited for PCN.
From the weekends to the weekly practices to the epic fighting in the senate.
To all the heartbeats that sound as one to the power of Isang bagsak.
To the people I have met and become friends with.
To the people I was already friends with and am closer with now than ever before.
To the component heads who lead us and push us.
To the producers who work so damn hard just so we can.
To our supporters in and out of the Pil-Community.
To Awakening a Movement, in and out of my mind, in and out of my friendships (new and old), and in and out of my heart.
Joining PCN is probably one of the best decisions I have made so far this year at Berkeley. I feel I have learned a lot from everybody involved with the production; I have learned a lot from myself. Even though All-Casts take up so much time and drain the life out of me by the time I get back to the dorm, I have to say the All-Casts make my weekends. At this point I honestly can not recall what my weekends were like before PCN and I honestly am having a hard time imagining what weekend life will be like after PCN (kawawa?). Yeah, it does take a huge chunk out of my weekend, but It’s great to get to know everyone, to watch all the skits, dances, and the music that band plays. It’s my get-away from Beserkeley life, to spend time with friends, get my mind off school for a bit, and work hard to create something new, artistic for everyone in Zellerbach to see. And from what I see how everything is coming together, I feel this show is going to be pure magic to those who see it.
Many have their incentives and reasonings and their motivations for doing PCN. For me, I of course do it for myself. I do it for the community, my parents, my family. However, there is one particular person that I think of—one person who I think of that reminds me why I do PCN, someone who reminds me how I should never give up.
My dad.
Yeah, I’ve always respected him. Did I always look up to him? Was I always fully understanding of his thick Tagalog accent? It is shameful to say I’m not quite sure if i have. If you ask me that now, I will definitely say yes. I do look up to my father in everything that he has done.
In the past I would sometimes not take him seriously over the phone when he’d call. He has a pretty decent accent, but he still struggles at times. He would have a hard time finding the correct words to say or I would find myself repeating my sentences over to him. It was very annoying. I was never fully disrespectful to him, but I never had enough patience to be really understanding towards his struggle.
Taking on the role of Emilio in Estudiante Blues has opened up a fresh perspective for me. I find myself in the opposite end of the spectrum. I AM the Filipino father. How my father struggled with his English to communicate with me, I find myself struggling to communicate in a Tagalog accent through my character. He struggles to break out of Tagalog and into English; I likewise am struggling to break out of English and into Tagalog. Like my native born father, Emilio struggles to get his points across to his son. Even though I am acting, I take the persona seriously whenever I perform. It is difficult. It is hard. I struggle. I feel the impatience emanating from my son (aka GK). In GK, I see myself…annoyed with what my father has to say, but later comes to realize that he was right. My dad has a lot if wisdom to offer. My father may not speak perfect English, but he is a fighter for what he has gone through to create this life for me.
The role has put me in the shoes of my father.
It’s allowed me to be on the other side of the arguments.
It’s allowed me to be on the other side of the misunderstandings.
It’s allowed me to be on the other side of the struggle.
And every time I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. Partly for the lack of understanding I provided in the past. But mainly as to how thankful I am for gaining this understanding now and mainly for being given the perfect way to say to my dad through the production that is PCN, “Thanks, thanks for all you’ve done for me. Thanks for working hard to allow me to have the opportunity to do what I am currently able–nay privileged–to do. This show, this part I play, these things I have learned, I dedicate to you, Dad.”
PCN cast and crew,
you all amaze me.
Thanks for letting me work with you all.
~B.
Geez… where to start? I’ve alot to say… Too much probably…
Anyways, my PCN story started 2 semesters ago in Tagalog 1B class… We were breaking up into skit groups, and, as usual, us left-overs in the upstage-right corner of the room formed our group… the three of us. Not like we were complaining; We worked together well since we all had one thing in common: We all knew nobody else in class and found it too difficult to break into the group of people who all seemed to know each other from somewhere else… That’s when **** (anonymous) decided to join our group ’cause hers already had 5 ppl while our group had 3. Little did I know that we would actually bond. Through the course of two Tagalog skits, she somehow got me to this scenario.
Me: Um… no?
****: Oh, come on! Your skit would be amazing! you know it, I know it… everybody knows it…!!
Me: Doubtf–
****: Promise me you’ll write for PCN next year!!
Me: Okay, whatever, let’s just keep running lines, okay?
I still had my doubts. But I did promise.
*~-~*~-~* TANGENT ALERT!! *~-~*~-~*
Then outta nowhere I get this e-mail from an “Adrien Salazar” asking for a male asian actor open to homosexual themes with no previous acting experience necessary. Recently, in my own life, I had just changed majors from Chem Engineering to Theater and Performance Studies… against my mom’s will. I dunno, I guess I needed something to do to prove to myself that I did the right thing… a project. After all, Circle K is great for serving the community, but not so much for theater… So I auditioned for that, and after a few crazy weeks, the Adrien at APAture gig was over. That was kinda a tangent actually… Anyways, back to the my PCN Story.
One fateful day, I also received another e-mail from Adrien regarding the PCN Writers’ Meeting. Heeey, I had a contact!! I kinda felt I knew him at least a little bit… Maybe I should go? Well, with ****’s voice echoing in my head, I jotted it down and told myself I’d attend…
And I didn’t. I actually missed the first one. haha Totally forgot about it ’cause I didn’t check my agenda that day. So I went to the second writers’ meeting… and that’s where the madness began…
I didn’t know what to expect from the writers’ meeting, but I did assume that it would be a collaborative process… Maybe even to the extent that there was a story board on the wall and we all shout suggestions about what could happen. Seriously. I had no friggin’ idea how the process worked!! But then I found out it was more of a take-home process. @#$%!!
Well, great, I didn’t know anybody, but I wanted to collab with someone. **** called me to see if we could collaborate on something!! YAY!! Problem solved!! But then she ended up being too busy to actually write… Ai yai yai… By then, everyone was paired/grouped up… So instead, I was left by myself 3 days before a first draft was due.
Oh well, f*ck it, let’s write something. So I did. I didn’t know what to write about. I didn’t know what I should keep in mind. Is it just like any other play? What about length? Is it a one-act play? No scene shifts? How many characters? Are they all Filipino? do they have to be?
Somehow, I felt very ignorant on what to write… I suddenly felt I wasn’t Filipino enough to understand the issues we had been discussing… like Veteran’s Equity. I had no idea what that was ’til the last meeting, but I still didn’t feel knowledgeable enough about it to write something about it. So, for the topic of my story, I figured I would pick an issue I knew alot about…. The struggle for identity. And homosexuality. I’m at liberty to write about that, right?
That’s when the name hit me… “Liberty.” Freedom. To… do what I want. Change majors. Write what I want. Take a break from the norm. Fulfill a promise.
Let’s write about a modified version of me!! Someone who does community service but isn’t integrated with the Filipino groups on campus… and… maybe he’s a she!! And maybe she doesn’t get along with her mom… and… well, how to address the gay issue… Maybe her dad’s gay? The ideas kept coming, and before I knew it, I had a draft 1 that was pretty far along in terms of content progress, according to producers. And I even got really constructive criticism!! Loved it!! So I kept writing… and writing… All through christmas break, I slaved away writing. My laptop had broke before I got home, so I had to do everything by our family’s old Windows 95 desktop w/ a modem connection… in MY PARENTS’ room. Well, that didn’t work out, so instead, I wrote everything during my breaks at work. x.x
At the end of it all, I missed the deadline, but I asked for an extension… just one more day at work to polish everything and send it… and I did. I didn’t hear anything for awhile. Honestly, I don’t think my skit made it. I knew alot of other writers would have time to write amazing stories during break… but the writing process itself was fun, so it was chill…
Then I found out it made it. I was so excited. EK SAY TING!!
But then reality set in.
It was too long.
The gay subplot was too weak.
Not enough happened.
Reality set in… I wasn’t at Liberty to do everything… There were guidelines.
And a dreaded time limit. Alas, Lab Run started… Lab Run was the Theater Department’s annual show featuring experimental theater from new graduate students… and I was assigned as their stage manager. Before I knew it, time didn’t exist. One week later, a new draft was expected.
I sold out. I changed my story to fit the time line. The gay dad was out… but not of the closet… out of the story.
Still too long? Maybe I’ll downplay the community service part…
Still not good? What should I do? No… No!! I’m gonna bring the gay issue back into it damni–And then my mom called. She would be coming to watch. She reserved some PTO for that weekend so she could bus down to Berkeley and watch it. Is she actually supporting my theatrical endeavor? Okay, you know what? fuck it!! screw the gay dad!! Let’s… let’s write about how awesome moms are…
And thus, the final draft.
Then I started getting “Heads” e-mails… what the f*ck? Was there a mistake? I was already a Circle K Officer, a Stage Manager, and a Set Designer for Bare Stage… and now I’m a PCN Head? By myself since I wrote by myself? Since when? Why didn’t I know this would happen? Suddenly, the option of letting somebody else direct my piece seemed really tempting… but who would? And should I leave it completely? I asked around…
“No, you shouldn’t abandon what you’ve spent all break working on.”
“That’s like abandoning a piece of art.”
“If you’re willing to let it go, it must not be a very good story.”
“At least try before you give up!!”
So I stayed. I stayed to direct it and lead the component.
And then auditions happened and that confirmed it. I wouldn’t have spent 7ish hours of my weekend in one room if I wasn’t a “Head”…
So I picked my cast. And I was so worried. I got ‘em all gifts to try and make a good impression and… did it work? I dunno…
I dunno anything… too much stuff was happening!! Bare Stage Tech!! Lab Run rehearsals!! Circle K meetings…!! and the MRP was due soon!!
I just kept telling everyone… Wait ’til March 10th (MRP is due), and I’ll have more time. Wait ’til April 5th (Lab Run would be over), and PCN would then be my top priority…!! I had other obligations before I even knew I was to become a “Head”… What was I supposed to do?
Falter. That’s what I did. The month of March 2008 was a descent into madness. Nights spent at Dwinelle Annex. Sleeping on the floor so the alarm would wake me. Reading in bathrooms to stay awake. Lost 8 pounds. Skipping meals. No sleep. Mood swings. Crying. April’s one of the nicest people I know, and yet we still ended up biting each others’ heads off over the phone. Damn it. I would never forget that. Sure I was getting scolded but I still shouldn’t have lost composure… I’ve never been so stressed out in my life. My whole week disappears with endless rehearsals and then the weekends are just all-casts… which, to me, was code for “spend your weekend in a foreign place when you should be doing all the homework due two weeks ago”. I was seriously breaking down… Walking zombie. And the bad part was nobody knew it. Everyone thought I was just stressed out or an overly bitter person, but no!! Believe me!! I am one of the happiest weirdest people you’ll ever meet!! But that side of me didn’t even seem to exist at the time… My close friends knew I was in serious trouble…
So I put PCN on the backburner. Thus, I was probably the worst Head ever. Couldn’t attend meetings. Couldn’t go to senate. Behind on work. Negative vibes radiate from me apparently, and I couldn’t stop bitching about life and everyone in it.
…
…
But I did the MRP… a 150+page document of all the Circle K members and their attended events and sent it to our District Secretary. My last job as an 07-08 CKI officer.
March 10th came and I survived. So I did all my tech scripts.
Spring Break happened. My spirits healed.
Lab Run tech week was last week… and I made it.
Then April 5th happened… I called my first show!! And I did great!! There’s one letter of recommendation!! BOOYA!!
It is now five days later. April 10th. Only 5 days since I said I would make PCN my top priority… and I have. In the last 5 days, I’ve learned two new dances… Pandanggo and Spanish… learned the new Jazz and Swing choreo… had a rehearsal for Liberty that was sooo much fun!!
My only low-pointer is that **** is no longer involved in the process… and that’s a fairly complicated story I dare not go into right now. But otherwise…
I’m… I’m finally feeling the PCN vibe… Good Lordy, I feel it!! I know I’ve been a bad Head… maybe ’cause I never asked to be one in the first place. But right now, all that matters is that I am one, and I’ve nothing else on my plate but school and this show. This one night. And by golly, now that I have the power to commit myself fully to this, I’m gonna make sure not to let everyone down. Maybe I never asked, but I’m here. And I’m gonna make sure to do whatever I can to make this AMAZING!!
If I was a Movement, then shit, PCN has actually Awakened me!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ^.^
I love you all, & i think you’re all beautiful.
and today i got my first rush of pre-PCN-excitement =) !!!!! the kind of excitement you get before being on stage, kinda excitement (??) it only gets better (but at the same time more stressful) after this. yeeee
OH WOWWWWW! DITTO MARIE!!!!
So I haven’t exactly been sure what to blog about, but after yesterday’s 10:30-12:37 a.m. rural practice…here goes!
If you compared how I was feeling about PCN and trad at 10:30, and then how I felt after rural practice, you would see a PERRRRTIE big difference.
Before: busy, flustered, irritated, nervous, hungry, tired….
After: excited, relieved, appreciative, proud, accomplished, ECSTATIC!!!
Our rural suite TOTALLY came together yesterday, and it was ammmmmmazing! It was the first time EVER pandanggo, bangko and tinikling for this show ever ran continuously, and it was so exciting to fit all the pieces fit together, like long lost pieces of a jigsaw, lol. I thought I was yelling too much at practice, but after a while I started to feel giddy and excited with all those funny butterflies in my stomach because everything was finally coming together. After our first REAL run-through, everyone started jumping up and down like crazy and then formed this huge bear hug and we simply basked in our excitement for PCN!! WHOOOOT!
There’s definitely work to be done still, but Jo and I are suuuper proud of all our rural-ers and -ettes! ONLY 8 1/2 MORE DAYS!!
i think it was hot this weekend because you guys were on fiyaaaah.
sorry -__-*
Dear Pauline,
Tonight, as I walked home, I had a flashback. I remember standing outside the little tiny 450-seat (maybe even less!) theatre of Saint John Bosco High School, facing the basketball court outside, yelling at Ego McPain (name changed just so he doesn’t google his name and find this post – thanks for the looking out, April!), wanting to take the clipboard in my hand and beat him with it. I remember I had to take him by the collar of his shirt and drag him backstage because he was playing a principle role in our modest 40-person musical. Of course I was in high school and didn’t know how to handle my temper. But even with adolescent angst, I realized how much it hurt sometimes to be a stage manager. To me, I felt that the job was stressful, but also something more than stressful – it was lonely.
And now, I think, here’s a stage manager of a 150-person show. In a venue that seats 2,000. An auditorium that has housed Yo-Yo Ma, Joshua Bell, Ira Glass, prestigious city ballets, Paco de Lucia. In short, you’re running a show that’s delivered flawless performances and standing ovations. Those are some unbelievable huge shoes to fill. I can’t even grasp the stress.
But I think even more than that, I can’t grasp the loneliness.
I realized one thing on this short walk home (though it seemed like long thoughts, I know) – in this show, we all have partners. There are a handful of people that have the intimidating title “PCN Head,” barrelfulls of talented people who are all performers, a stage team with the cool “ninja” alias, a cute pair of assistant stage managers and even three never-get-to-sleep producers. But there is only one – ONE! – Stage Manager. That’s you. Now, far be it from me to have the right or knowledge to claim that any particular job is more difficult than another. However, there is something to be said about the fact that there is only one person who can wear that name tag you’re wearing. The stress we all can feel, respective to our own parts of the show. But this particular loneliness, this stage-manager-loneliness: it’s only yours. That at the end of the day, I can call Golda and say, “Will you run the scene with me?” But you – who can run your scenes with you? Who knows how to pick up the cues and improv with you in case you lose your place (as Golda will have to do if I lose my lines). If anyone was stressed about their component, there’s always someone they to call (ideally). And who could you call? I know the answer to that one: No one.
All this is to say thank you so very much, Pauline. No wait – first things are first: I’m sorry when I drop the ball as a member of the show. When I am late to getting to the wings and when I speak above a whisper in the green room. And now thank you again for not pulling my hair when you had probably at some point the right to do so.
And then, thank you for bearing with the stress.
And then, thank you for bearing with the loneliness.
Affectionately,
Jean Louise
you are all amazing. i hope you all know that. we are gonna blow people’s minds into oblivion.
bring it pcn08. cuz yall got it.
adrien
So PCN is finally over and I’m actually pretty sad. At first I was so excited for PCN and couldn’t wait for it to come to show everyone what all the participants have been working so hard on for months, but right after performing tonight for Modern, it hit me! I thought to myself, wow, that’s the last time we’re ever gonna perform that dance all together, something so many of us have put in so much dedication and passion into, but that goes for all the participants. Every single individual that participated in PCN this year is an inspiration to me and I just hope that all participants and the people who watched walked away with something positive.
When the final curtain closed and a lot of people got emotional, I couldn’t help but get emotional myself because I’m gonna miss PCN so much. It was so much more than just that one show tonight…it was a whirlwind adventure. As crazy as it sounds, I wish there were more 9 AM all-casts to come, all the side practices, and watching each component as the show was coming together. The community each and every one of us built through this process is awesome! Now, I’d have to say one of the biggest things for me to look forward to next year is the next PCN and I only hope it can live up to the wonderful experience I’ve had this year!